BEREFT 😖😢🌹😔!

This blog piece is dedicated to my person,my sister,my friend and to you who have also lost a loved one to death😔. May the strength and comfort of The Lord be with us now and always🌹🌹🌹.

And seeing the multitude, HE went up into a mountain 🗻, and when HE had sat down, HIS disciples came unto HIM and HE opened HIS mouth and taught them saying :

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven Blessed are they that mourn😖, for they shall be comforted . Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth🌍. Blessed are they who do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy .Blessed are the pure in heart♥, for they shall see God Blessed are the peacemakers,for they shall be called the children of God. Blessed are they who are persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven .Blessed are you, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely for my sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad for great is your reward in Heaven, for so persecuted they, the prophets who were before you. You are the salt of the earth🌍, but if the salt looses it’s saltines, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot .You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid, neither do men light a lamp and put it under a bushel, but on a lamp stand, then it gives light unto all .Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in Heaven. Matthew 5:1-16

The earth is aging, time passes by really fast, Its almost like a mirage. Life withers away like a flower, today it’s here, tomorrow it’s gone without a trace. Sometimes we loose our loved one to the afterlife a bit too soon. We are broken, our heart💕 is badly bruised with painful wounds buried deep within. Wounds that send tears running down our checks. With such times each heartbeat forms a tear and our eyes are always teary because our heart💕 is bleeding. I appreciate you feeling so sorry for my loss, I really do. To tell you the truth I feel sorry for my loss too.

I embrace silence, my smile☺ fades away, my home denies me joy because it is incomplete,. I embrace mourning which announces it’s presence where ever I go by my clothing preference and mood. When I look myself in the mirror I see the glow on my face slowly vanishing. The present is unbearable, the future uncertain, memories from the past flood my mind drowning my thoughts. I am lonely. When we are bereft of joy,a sense of belonging, companionship, love, serenity, a happy home, a complete family, and the simple beauties of life that brings completion. We are broken and shuttered yet the love of GOD holds us together. There are many lessons learnt as life advances. Growing up I have come to know many truths. Going on my now lonely journey, I realize by seeing so so vividly that lying ahead is the forest,the deep woods. I didn’t expect to have to go through this forest called grief, it’s lonely, the winds are chilly, the snowy rains are endless, the ground is icecold . I wish I could choose not to walk through. I wish there was a way around it, but there isn’t because you’re not here anymore. Here I am not only facing my worst fears but living it . I am traumatized, my emotional wounds lead to my psychological injury. Everything about me is shutting down yet there is hope for I am not of myself but of GOD. I am in a season where the unexpected has caught up with me. I realize I am badly torn up inside and out. An absence has become a presence, emptiness fills me up. Sometimes I want to scream out my pain, sometimes I feel the erge to run🏃very far so I can search really hard for you but I know I won’t find you. You’ve become invisible belonging to another world. Though my loss makes my winter seem unending, spring always returns. Deep within my longest coldest winter, a flower blooms with its roots buried deep in the frozen soil. As time passes by getting to work seems inevitable, the bricks of acceptance lay idle. There’s a lot of courage and strength needed in putting up the foundation of what looks like a new life brick by brick but who am I kidding there isn’t any strength to source from😢 for my strength continues to fail😔me. I look up to GOD, HE takes me through the minutes of my life. In HIM there isn’t a need to hide how I feel, HE knows my heart. I am living life a second at a time. Almost all the time I miss that feeling of connection, knowing you were just there, knowing you were simply out there somewhere,thinking of us and I of you. Maybe my world knows darkness but I am it’s light. I still keep up faith,I trust in The Lord, I know HE takes the best care of you. Prayer travels across worlds and dimensions, you forever remain a part of me. I did ever have you with me once, you made and still make my everyday special for though you belong to a divine time frame, a new world, you did impact my life so much, memories of you continue to make each day worth living. You influenced my life so much, you were such an important part of me. I have become you in your absence. Many say I remind them of you,when they see me they see you. We were a team and we still are, you may have travelled so far, you may be out of reach, yet before you left to reside with your Maker, God gave me you. You are my most precious gift, a gift which makes me complete,you are the sunin my day, you also shine through my moon at night. You are the part of me I need to survive this. The bond we share in love with GOD is not broken. You may have disappeared from the surface of planet earth🌍 but you are alive in the presence of The Adonai, Jehovah The Most High God. My strength is found in the Lord. I am more than confident of your support. There may be a huge space of silence in time between us. This is really happening, however living with God means the devil is defeated. Jesus won Victory over lucifer on the Cross. Your memory feels like home to me, so when ever my mind wanders through and across thoughts,it always finds it’s way back to you. It’s true, laughter now is a feeling my body rejects but it’s no fault of mine. Anytime I try to false myself into laughing, I end up enable to even manage a smile, I just sign. I wonder when true laughter will relieve me of my signs. Then once a while I unknowingly find myself smiling, however my eyes do not smile along. It’s said that a true smile forms in the heart then lights up the eyes. For now I don’t know anything anymore but little by little I’ll get through. Where there is love, there’s a way. God loves me so I will find my way. Its funny how we never know exactly how life will go. It’s funny how dreams can fade with the break of day.

Although my grief may not resolve and I get stuck in deep despairing and hopeless sadness,my Jesus holds me close. I know Jesus tells you how am doing so you don’t worry. Family and friends are a great support, their care for me really helps. They are there for me in every way possible, so I am confused and shocked because I was doing well then suddenly it feels like I’m not getting any better. When I feel this way it’s usually because around such times I realise that you’re never coming back. I know loneliness and grief are intertwined. There’s no time duration when grieving, yet I must confess I worry I will sound and look strange when I tell all those trying so hard to help me heal that I feel worse each day. I miss you so much it feels I can go on no longer. I bottle up this feeling covering up the emotions I feel in heart 💓 with an “okay looking” face. Then anytime I am alone I pour out my heart in prayer to My Creator, My Maker. The God who has you safe and sound. HE who watches over you.With your passing you’ve become a memory I am forever treasuring 🌹🌹🌹.

I’m always choking back tears😢. I feel pain, I feel fear. An imagination of life in your absence defines loneliness and explains how alone I am. I’m not fine, I’m not okay, I suppose sometimes it’s really okay not to be okay. Home was with you, now I do not know where home is anymore. If your home is with the Lord, I believe my home lies with HIM too for I am one with God through Christ. HE lives in me and I in HIM. I can’t tell how life will unravel, what turns life will take. I take careful steps into the future,I must honestly admit I am scared. I’m following Jesus’ lead. I will be okay. When sorrow like sea billows roll towards me I fear I will drown,The Lord takes my hand , We walk on these strange waters. HE looks into my soul, HE smiles😊,HE tells me “I’ve got you, I’m here”. God keeps watching over me as HE watches over you. God is all I have. All will be well, all is well. I’m covered with the Supernatural presence of the Holy Spirit. IT IS WELL ⛅.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18.🌹🌹🌹

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ALL ME😊 (A Note From Me To You)

I am here this day to share a little more of me with you. It’s been so amazing getting to know you all, It’s been an honor. Your comments and likes have made me fall more and more inlove with you all, over and over again. I am truly grateful. My love for you all is eternal and forever. My heart goes out to you all with prayers and well wishes each minute of my life. However on this day I would like to share a gift with you, and as we open this gift together we are going to get to know about an Immortal Supreme Being. HE existed before time began. HE is known to be The I Am. Many know HIM as GOD. HE formed us with HIS hands, and gave us life through HIS Breath. While we open this gift we’re going to know how deep and intense HIS love for us is,its way beyond all imagination. God has a way of showing and telling us HE loves us. Through HIS words in the Bible, The Lord makes HIS love known to us. From the smile☺ of friends and family, a warm hug when we are sad and lonely. A helping hand when we are in need. A shoulder to lean on when we are weak. A fellowship to pray with when life becomes unbearable. It’s true God does not live with us on earth🌍,The Lord isn’t human like we are yet, HE uses all our loved ones to show us how much HE cares. Jesus Christ does love and care so much for you. We have all come to know since we were born that we have our lives to live. There’s this world we are all a part of. As to how we all got here I’d say we were all a blessing from God to our parents. As a nursing student I have been studying the human body and by this I mean I have been trying to understand how our body works. I need you all to trust me when I say God is wonderful. No human born of woman dwelling under the sun can ever replicate any creation of The I am. HE is God alone. It is night here, the air is perfectly still, perfectly quite. There is a faint hint of moonlight sprinkling over the mounds and sea of water giving the water a pale blue hue. My breath clouded out as I stood from the bed of shiny sea sand, it’s like a bug or a bugbear,my mind asked my heart♥. Wondering to myself silently as was said in Shakespeare “The bug which you would fright me with I seek”. I believe I have found what I deem a fright “What Is The Reality Life Dwells On”. I thought, trapped in crystal instead of amber. While brushing off the fine sand that carpets my legs deceiving the many eyes into thinking I wore a pair of socks with my green flowery towel. I knew that where I had travelled with my thoughts, is beyond the wit of man to say. I find myself lost in my mind, I am unable to recognize where I am in thought. I have gone really far. I can’t seem to find my way back. I am confident I have a quick wit and a steady hand to write out all I have buried in my heart and mind. Life follows a carefully laid out plan. When it’s time for us to come into this world. The Lord rises from HIS throne, HE goes to HIS room for the creating of Peculiar Exceptional Creations. The Lord takes the best of all Heavenly talents,skills,intellect,personality, behavioral characteristics and all HE needs to make the most beautiful and special creation HE needs you to be. When mum goes through Cyesis with all the different forms their bodies take. They go through many wonderful faces of life at this stage. The endurance of pain during the process of (accouchement”French”,gebaren”German”,parto”Italian,Portuguese,Spanish) labour or giving birth”English”.The Lord is overjoyed and the heavens rejoice for through mummy the world gets to see the very special you. A you HE has taken so much time to form. You are born to your parents, you may be born to a parent, others are born to orphanages or public and private care giving homes, some loose a guardian or parent as life advances. Someway,somehow we all make an entry into the world when our time comes. When babies are born, as little as they seem and at such a very early beginning in their lives, they strive to have comfort. They cry out loud at the least bit of discomfort, they feel the need to be comfortable in any environment and with whomever they find themselves with. Their quest to maintain comfort continues as days grow into weeks, weeks into months, months into years and years into decades. On your first birthday on earth🌍,there are well wishes and gifts from loved ones. The I Am gives us a very beautiful precious gift as we become living souls. This precious gift is Life. Life is Precious. Life is both physical and spiritual. Life’s a Forever Gift. Life does not only exist on earth. There’s life after this physical world. Our journey through life comes in two fold. Life does extend through eternity. In our first existence we are of flesh and blood. The life we experience is bound to the earth which forms part of the universe. Then one day the time comes when after we have fulfilled the destiny of GOD for our lives we loose our physical bodies to the earth, then the form of life takes the spiritual turn and the spiritual journey of life commences. The gifts does not stop there. There’s a second beautiful gift the I Am blesses us with. Its also an amazingly special gift, it’s slightly different from the first. It might be a simple four letter word yet it makes a very great influence on our lives. I think I am able to say this very gift is a necessity which is known to be Time. Time is our life span, the length of time for which we live. Whatever we do with our time is the act of living. Time is precious and time keeps moving. The earth and it’s universe follows a carefully planned inevitable progression into the future with the passing of the present happenings into the past. We were given our individual life span right inside mummy. We were born when our time was due. If the duration of time that forms a day is not used by anyone of us and it elapses, it never returns, it slips away. No date on and outside earth repeats itself. When time goes by whatever is done within it becomes a memory. We are stewards of all HIS creation. Shall we visit some spiritual truths. The invincible world controlled by Jehovah in the heavens following HIS perfect plan has a timing that’s quite unusual. The Lord indicates exceptionally that a thousand years to HIM is a day, a day to HIM is a thousand years. This opens our mind to an essence of divinity that rules supreme over humanity. Now, may I please have this dance💃,please take my hand as we dance our way into getting to know what GOD has for us. What is HIS third gift for us. Gift number three is very refreshing and renewable. The gift of a new day brings hope. This gift repeats itself by the rising of the sun☀ with it’s light and warmth.A shiny star lights up way above bringing to our sense of sight the dawn of a new day.”Today is a gift, this is why it is called Present” A phrase I heard from the Disney Animated Cartoon:Kung Fu Panda🐼 .

Across each dawn lies a day,our present,for a ray of hope flickers through the nights sky causing it to twinkle. Life as it unravels is characterized by it’s distinct occurrence. Sometimes the beauty of life deforms by the bitterness hidden in certain days. The times ahead, those moments yet to be experienced remains a mystery utterly buried within its programmed day, bound to happen and waiting it’s turn to pass by, hurrying into the past but leaving us with memories for a lifetime. Memories can be distressing others refreshing, there are painful memories and those filled with joy and laughter. I would not say we have control over our lives because we can’t tell the future. Everything happens for a reason so I’ve heard. There should be a reason, there must be a reason yet be that as it may as human as we are, we wonder “What could these reasons be”. We hit really hard on rocky bottoms and it’s simply just difficult. Issues pertaining to the established facts of life’s ever changing painful turns of events is overwhelming, mind blowing and if not managed prayerfully can kill our will to live and our quest to survive,exposing us to sorrow, sadness, depression, grieving, sobbing, mourning all of which threatens our serenity and wholeness. If we could alter our lives what would be our worry, if we could change the past why are we so helpless, if we could give life why do you mourn, if we could choose our future who would be sad.

I ask the question if we cannot do all this then who can. Who is in control, who knows how it ends even before it all starts. Who from Where and How. Who writes the stories of our lives from the last page to the first. Who is this Man whose voice “the greatest terror birthed by the weather, the roar of oceans as their waters succumb to turbulence hear, recognize and obey. HIS soothing voice piercing through the chaos propelled by power”Peace Be Still” then silence envelopes✉,the mighty storms. HE is the Light. HE is who HE is. GOD is Time, GOD is Life, GOD is Love. If GOD be Life, What is Life without HIM. In our good, better and best moments then in our bad, worse, worst and terrible moments, HE is and still remains Jehovah the Almighty Immortal Invincible God. The Pillar that holds our life together, there is nothing that is which was not made by HIM. It’s all about Jesus. Let’s experience this together, if a chef you hire to prepare your dinner welcomes you home with an empty plate and leaves you famished after you have paid for his services, do you still keep him around. What if the chef does what is expected of him would you still owe him. If and only if you are pleased with his services you will give him a bonus payment if you so wish. The reason being that he has fulfilled the purpose for which he was hired. Why then do we feel our Maker owes us when we fulfill the purpose for which we were created and that is pleasing HIM by worshipping, praising and living the Christian way. The Lord will reward us if HE deems it fit. Why do we allow ourselves to believe since the I Am has created us whether we fulfill our purpose or not HE needs us and must keep us on HIS payroll. The Lord gives us our Free Will. There is power in HIS will to give us the freedom of choice. In this priceless freedom lies an expectation which becomes the responsibility for which we exist. We exist to decide to walk the right path. Jesus tells us “I am the vine and ye are my branches, My Father is the vine dresser, any branch that bears not fruits is cut off “Let’s look at the bigger picture. You can’t be unhelpful in the Lords sight. HE created you with an expectation, you must have an expenditure of spiritual, physical or mental endeavor aimed at attaining growth, a level of growth which helps us understand how the Divine world we do not see but are citizens off operates and influences our Lives. God is our source, our help cometh from the Lord. It is wisdom that created the world, God is wisdom, therefore giving respect, recognition, honour and relevance to HIM is the beginning of wisdom. His greatness, is endless. Look at the trees,the sky, the ocean. There isn’t more I can say. Life itself is a miracle. HE loves you so much. As far as the heavens are above the earth so great is HIS love for us. Marriage is a creative exhibition of how the GOD kind of love looks like. The joy,peace,bliss and the sense of belonging a blessed union brings to our lives describes the Love God feels for us. God needs us to understand HIM when HE says HE loves us. The truth remains that the love we enjoy in marriage can never compare to God’s love yet it presents us with a fair idea. Love brings two together in holy matrimony, then the two become one. A bond between them is formed in love. God is love so now what really happens. Who is love, God is. Meaning God brings two together in holy matrimony, then the two become one. A bond between them is formed in God. Marriage is a union.

Our first union is being one with God. This is our first love. Love makes us the beautiful persons we are, then we share love with who the heart chooses. This is the second love. The second love is birthed from the first. When God blesses us with our spouse,a partner in life. God needs us to uphold and love them, to be their strength,to support them, to love them with a greater love in the most special way. When we do so they do not only feel content, belonged and loved,we will be the best thing that ever happened to them. They feel so secured and accomplished. When we are such a blessing in the lives of our spouses. They get to know that for them to have us in their lives only means The Lord really loves them so much and cares about their happiness, then they are able to appreciate God through us. When God blesses us with our spouses HE expects us to be their best ever gift. Our presence in their lives must be a reason for them to praise GOD. The Omnipresent God will oneday hold us accountable for how we treat our spouses. Marriage is not about us, it’s all about God. The greatest love we posses is our union with the I Am, in this the Holy Spirit of The Lord opens us up to fellowship with HIM through worship in Spirit and in truth all the days of our mortal and immortal lives. Worshipping in Spirit and truth allows our Maker to soar with our spirits through Divinity,the heavens are opened and we experience a heart to heart encounter with Jehovah. This is where Divinity meets with Humanity. All creation worships, Time stops to dwell in worship, Love is known in worship, Life exists through worship. Fellowship with Love in worship began the world. The Words spoken by Love carefully formed the world🌍 from nothing. In the beginning was The Word and The Word was with God and The Word was God. The Word made a part of HIM flesh and poured into fresh HIS breath. HE decided to form the core of this living being with love. God formed our hearts with HIMSELF. Our heart is of Love, this is why God speaks to the heart. When our hearts love GOD,it completes us. Becoming a Christian is God now living in you. HE is the missing piece. Being a Christian is simply being a follower of Christ. Jesus came down to earth from Heaven on a mission from God. Jesus’ life on earth explains who a Christian is. Jesus on earth shows Majesty😇 in the midst of ordinary. Emmanuel, God With Us😊. GOD’S Love for us leads to HIS Grace with us. The Grace of God helps us to shun sin and leads us on the path of righteousness. We then please God and we walk🚶 in Grace and Purity before God and Man. May The Grace Of Our Lord Jesus Christ,The Love Of God, And The Sweetest Fellowship Of The Holy Spirit Be With Us All. May we be cushioned and shielded from pain through Grace. May we survive through life with Grace. I love you. I really do love you. I care 😊. From me 😊 with love.

My Heart♥ Writes 😊

I have come this far It has not been easy I would say, it’s been one hell of a journey 😉,yet the LORD has come through for me.HE has been my anchor⚓,so faithful, always there, never changing,HE remains GOD in good times and bad, in my pain, mystery and misery,with my clueless state of confusion HE is the clue which keeps solving the puzzles my life keeps forming.HE is the peace that never leaves me no matter the gravity of shock the unbelievably devastating situations of life invades my home and serenity with,depriving me of my peace of mind.HE is the pillar of my life, HE holds me together knowing fully well how fragile I am because HE formed me. The many eyes marvel for I have not fallen apart. How do I not break down, how am I not shuttered, how am I fueling⛽ my strength, what am I made up of, am I at all human they whisper to themselves so deep in their thoughts💭.I am no super human, I am human, I am only being the creation of my CREATOR, and if you would look closely you will see that just like the toy maker holds his puppet together with strings in an attempt to help it up it’s feet then supports it firmly in position by holding it firmly above the leveled stage with it’s head held up high to the admiration of many. For all who have come from far and near to witness the stage performance know the truth that tells of how impossible it is that a puppet so broken can stand on it’s feet. I am also held together by the Love of my CREATOR through the Power of the Hands that formed the earth by the faith I share in the truth of HIS existence being made known to the world by the strength within me which propels my whole being through the pain, hurts and wounds I suffer in life. This strength is not my own but the LORDS.The many attacks of lucifer,the accuser of the brethren,the father of all lies may pass by yet it will have no effect on The Plan of HE Who Was and Is and Is to Come.If I am admired by many for the courage I possess it is to the Glory of GOD for without HIM I am nothing.May the strong woman you see me to be today be the miracle that tells you GOD lives and HE is still in control. The Destiny writer still writes.HE is GOD alone,The Way Maker, Miracle Worker, Promise Keeper,Light in the darkness,He is Who He is,The I Am.

Psalm 18:34

We are all running our individual race through life We all have independent, separate and personal destinations This brings us to life’s truth, your responsibility is to make it there, to create your mark by leaving your legacy to cause the change only you can make. No matter what True Indeed 😏 However 😉have you stopped to think about what the real truth is. Let me share it with you regardless We may all be on different paths, because that’s how it looks from the beginning Okay 😊,let’s now look at the journey as we proceed further All our individual paths inter-cross ,inter-depend and inter-relate with the other, we are all using paths that lead to one huge destination and this is loving OUR CREATOR with all our heart,mind,spirit with soul and loving one other. As different as we are, as diverse as our ways of behaving and living is. We are more than we are, there is more to us than meets the eye👀. Truly varying from one another yet simply one in the LORD. Share all the love your heart♥ contains with the beautiful people the LORD graces your path through life with and all who love and care enough to lend a helping hand. Together as one in GOD. We fall today to rise another day,we live to fight in another time frame for the wars we stand to battle against is not of the flesh but of principalities,rulers of darkness ,demons in high places.Take a chill pill beloved in CHRIST, Take heart for our victory is in The Name Above All Names.At the mention of The Name JESUS every knee must bow and every tongue must confess that HE is CHRIST, The King of Kings and HE is LORD. I love you, I would never hurt you with the words of my mouth. Words heal so I choose to help heal your wounded heart with my words. I will be your strength when you are weak, I’ll hear you when your heart cries out,I’ll be a shoulder for you to cry😢 on,when all hope is gone HE still abides with us,In HIM our hope is formed.It really matters not how far you are from me,my care and love can go as far as they need,to impact the countess lives which mean so much to me, It really makes no difference who you are,I do not have to know you to love you,LOVE knoweth All. I love you, I need you to survive. We must survive this looking up👆to The GOD, who knew us by name before we were formed in our mother’s womb.

As I sit to write about what my life has become now, I reflect on all that happens. It makes no sense,it makes no meaning, I can’t seem to ever understand, my self quizzes are endless, maybe oneday it will all form a meaning I will appreciate, it will all begin to make sense. I am being tossed, pulled and dragged through dark places in life while hitting against hard walls, stones, rocks, thorns, flames and ice. I am bruised,wounded, hurting, broken,and facing the harsh realities of life. However I still stand ever so firm, ever so tall with my head lifted ever so high acknowledging the courage and determination I have in CHRIST JESUS I boldly stare into the face of difficulties,distress,loneliness,discomfort,all odds and uncertainties. I boldly stare into the eyes of the devil,to tell him My Truth,which is The True Truth,one that is Unchangable for it is Coded by GOD There Is Hope⛅ For The Future and for this simple life changing reason I SMILE 😊.

LOVE Rudelle Natasha May

First blog post

This is your very first post. There’s a calling, we all must fulfill. A destiny that is a responsible. A writer isn’t just writing for the fun of it. When a writer sits to write, The life experiences form words that impacts and changes lives. A writer tells of the truths that gives meaning to life. A writer wipes the tears of many, A writer bring joy to many, A writer gives hope, A writer awakens courage and determination. A writer directs generations to their destiny. I have come to know who I am. I have taken up my mantle. I have known my worth. I AM ME 😊.start a new post.